Hi Everyone! 😊
It's August! I just noticed that since 2014, July-August has been quite of a challenge for me. Was wondering why, actually. Or prolly it's just a plain coincidence. I don't know.
This year, it happened again. I came across this Thought Catalog article that really hit me. I have always believed that 2018 is an amazing year for me, don't get me wrong, it still is. It has brought me surprises (good + not so good) and am loving every second of it. Am always grateful.
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| credits to the owner. Found this on Google - mzayat.com |
Giving up should never be an option whether this pertains to love-life, to life in general, aspirations, or anything you want just as long as you're not hurting someone in the process. But that's how life is, right? Unconsciously, we hurt someone and it's not our intention. We have choices, decisions and sometimes we get confused and clueless to the point that sometimes giving-up is the only option that we can think of. Now, am I giving up? I have always been a firm believer that everything has it's ending. Fate always find it's way when it's time. So, I guess, right now, it isn't yet. And I don't want it to end, actually. 10+ years isn't a joke. Not always the case, though. Breaks my heart just the thought of it alone. 💔
Sigh. Yeah. Asked John earlier to get some fresh air downstairs. Imagine, I really didn't have anything to say. We were just there standing and it's totally fine. He had some stories to share, but yeah loved the silence and appreciated his presence.
Here's the full article. Thank you Thought Catalog for this. I can be one of your contributors, you know. Haha! ♥
"I texted first. I double texted. I liked (almost) every one of your selfies, leaving spaces in between so I didn’t seem too desperate for your affection.
I
gave you compliments. I dressed up whenever I knew you would be in the
same room. I invited you over on weekends. I dropped hints about how
much I missed you when you were not around. I worked my hardest to make
room for you in my world because you seemed like you were worth the
effort.
Even
when you ignored my messages and sent mixed signals, I kept pushing
forward. I would get upset about how long it was taking you to answer my
texts, but I always ended up forgiving you. I would be disappointed
about our canceled plans, but would still ask you to hang out when the
next weekend rolled around.
I
chased after you, because I thought you were nervous about entering a
relationship. I thought you were considering whether to make me your
girlfriend and if I tried a little harder, then you would feel confident
that I was the one.
I
thought I was doing the right thing by pursuing you — and honestly, I’m
not sure I could have held myself back anyway. All I wanted to do was
talk to you. I never could have ignored the temptation to send a cute
text. I never could have stopped myself from touching you, complimenting
you, daydreaming about kissing you.
But
after a while, I became exhausted. The chase tired me out. You never
asked me to be your girlfriend, you never put in nearly as much effort
as I had been exerting, so I gave up hope of getting together with you. I
decided to stop sending the first text and stop blowing up your phone
with notifications. I walked away from the idea of us. I accepted that you were never going to feel the same way about me.
I might have stopped chasing after you,
but that doesn’t mean I stopped wanting you. That doesn’t mean I stopped
scrolling through your social media and fantasizing about what might
happen if we ran into each other again.
I still want you. I still have feelings
for you. But I am not going to keep chasing after you when you have made
it clear nothing is going to happen between us.
I cannot keep putting myself through the
agony of analyzing your mixed messages. I cannot deal with the heartache
of flirting with you, feeling like I am getting closer to you, and then
finding out you’ve found someone else.
I tried to impress you for long enough. If
we are going to get together, then it’s your turn to do the work. It’s
your turn to send the first text, to try to keep the conversation going,
to come up with exciting plans and cry yourself to sleep when they fall
through.
I cannot do it anymore. I cannot keep chasing you, even though you’re all that I want."
- Holly Riordan, Thought Catalog
speak from the heart,
pong 🐢💙
PS Congrats, Ginebra. Pero SMB pa rin ako. ♥
